Saturday, July 16, 2016

Days 32-33 Starts and Restarts

It can be very frustrating and defeating to start something, like a new workout regime, and then stop due to obstacles, etc. Starting and restarting makes you feel a bit crazy and all over the place. It can also make you feel like giving up as if there is no point in trying. Isn't life fun!?! Put aside the 'crazy' and keep on restarting until you breakthrough to what will work.

For me, I am trying to figure out how to balance out all of the to do's with being tired of doing so much and falling behind on everything constantly. The work doesn't go away just because I break down. I just have to keep trying different schedules and what nots until I find the balance of what gets the lists done without dysfunctionally "doing". It's hard because my past codependent self could tackle all of these daily obstacles, but at great costs to me. The patterns I developed for overachieving was so not good (mentally, spiritually, relationships, physically). I have new patterns now, healthier/functional patterns, but they don't "get it all done"....which is kinda the point. We can't get super human lists done in a healthy, noncodependent way, and that's okay...it's okay to not be super human cause none of us are (for long anyway). It's okay to keep trying and failing and trying again until we figure it out. It's okay that "it" doesn't always get done until it does. The only thing that is not okay is to quit trying to be better, know better, do better. So, until I figure out this tetris, I'll keep starting and restarting until I get that tetris in a healthy, noncodependent, non-self-defeating way!

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