We've all had our "poor me" moments, but they should be very short lived. If you find yourself in that negative roundabout of being a poor me this and pitiful me that, then slap yourself out of it. It doesn't serve you. What are you getting out of that negative sad state anyway? It's obnoxious and only keeps you from progressing in a more positive, balanced life. Struggles are hard and evermore present, but there is happiness to be found regardless of the hardships. I'm not throwing the "find a silver lining" at you, just saying that even in the worst nightmares there is a glimmer of happiness and hope to cling to until the sun shines again. Only in finding that inner peace and positive rope will you be able to move beyond the hardship and into the solution!
Monday, August 31, 2015
Friday, August 28, 2015
Let It Go
Yes, seriously just let it go. No I'm not giving props to any song or trying to get it in your head, but "let it go" already! If you are struggling in anything, just realize that you have more power in any given anything than you are owning at the moment. You changing the way in which you are seeing, perceiving, understanding, reacting, etc., to any given moment is in your power to shift. Breathe, examine, shift, let go, move on, repeat!
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
What Makes You You?
Ponder that for a moment....What really makes you you? Truly you? If you close your eyes and not consider anyone else or anything else, what makes you happy...your heart sing? So, so many times life gets in the way of our true happiness, our true selves. We then fall into thinking what we want out of life is wrong because it interferes with want others want from us. That's not okay or healthy for any of the relationships we find ourselves. The best of us should bring out the best of our relationships and if that's not the case then the very relationships themselves need to be examined as to why the limitations of self.
Monday, August 24, 2015
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Be Kind
No matter what your circumstance or dynamic, it's not okay to lash out in anger. Be kind always! Even if someone has wronged you greatly, your behavior is on you. In teaching my children, one in particular, what someone does is a reflection on them...how you handle it is a reflection on you. Someone can toil and toxically turn on you and it's still on you your reaction to them. Whether or not in the heat of the moment, you can ascertain their struggles. There is clearly one if they are misbehaving so badly, and you throwing grease on the fire helps no one...including you. While you may have a brief release, it comes with consequences. Just like superheros have to be careful and not abuse their powers, so do you have to honor what you know to be right from wrong action in all you do regardless!
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Be Willing To PIVOT
Life is a two step for sure and for true. We learn as we go. Be willing to change course and pivot from what you've tried and failed. Failing is sometimes the best thing to get us to where we truly need to go. Something in your life not working out fully is not "failing" if there is a slight change in the approach or direction that would make it click better!
Monday, August 17, 2015
Bad Dating
So the approach of putting your best foot forward, showing the best parts of you, etc., when you are dating is so the wrong approach. The mindset of not letting a new friend or date (and potential mate) see all of you and hiding your worst qualities as long as you can, is a sure fire way to set up for a bad relationship. Why are you selling your future happiness short? So what if you find out early that you are not really going to work out with someone because you don't like their whole self or they don't like yours? Isn't it better to find out early, early on rather than too late and with much more heartbreak involved? Your best parts of you are the easy stuff for someone to love. A true test of a good match is finding a partner that isn't in-love with your icing, but your real, whole self. Put it out there and find who you will truly live happily ever after with for every layer you have!
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Gratitude Always
You may not particularly like the circumstances or situation you are in currently, but to only complain and moan about it is to ignore the good that is also present. If you cannot be grateful for the blessings you have regardless of the less desirable surrounding, then you won't be opened to receive more. Think about a child who just received the ice cream cone she was pining for all day and then immediately starts asking for the next thing before it is even finished. The lack of full enjoyment and living in the present blessing regardless of whether or not everything else is perfection is what prevents anyone or anything from changing further because of the inward attitude of ungratefulness. Every parent out there knows this all too well in dealing with children's want, want, want, and disregard for what they just got, got, got. Gratitude always or your lack of appreciation will be an ongoing stumbling block....always.
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Did I Ask?
My personal favorite (sarcasm) is when people give me their opinions and judgments on me without me asking for them. If I wanted their help with my life, I certainly would ask for it (more sarcasm). It used to really bother me, make me insecure, feel like I had to defend myself, or feel bad about myself, etc., when this would happen because the "type" who inappropriately throw their opinions around about other's lives unbidden are usually quite insulting and wrong. They usually are not even real friends or even know me or my life in any real way to even begin to make such assertions. We could go into why these folks do this behavior, but sufficed it to say they have issues of their own or they wouldn't be lording over others in the first place. Here's the thing about taking on such "meddling"....I take the opportunity to understand who this person is and whether I want them to continue in any capacity in my life. I listen to what is being said and decide at every turn how and when to redirect the conversation. I realize that this really isn't about me and therefore do not get argumentative or defensive. I own who I am and my choices and walk away with some introspection as to why I have made the choices I have made and determine the possibilities of future choices. If you "didn't ask", realize that it's not on you to engage in their behavior.
Monday, August 10, 2015
You're Okay....
If there is one single solitary thing I wish I could give to everyone, it would be that of knowing that they are okay regardless of circumstance. In talking and working with the various people I do, I have been blessed completely in knowing that we are all the same regardless of race, religion, size, finances, location, etc. We all want to be accepted, understood, and have insecurities out the ying yang. We all stress about the same things albeit on different levels of severity. We are all capable of being beautiful well developed beings, if we are true to ourselves and work on our internal growth! Life is as difficult as we make it and our happiness isn't dependent upon anything but our outlook!! No one on this earth cares about the deep dark trappings of our minds that we are stroking to hide and protect. Let it go and grow....Be you and be truly happy!
Friday, August 7, 2015
Complete & Healthy Living
I can without hesitation say that my daily foundation is Bible Study, and without it I would not have had the fitness success I have had or the mental/emotional growth and development I have had. I try to not put much of my spiritual beliefs on this site because whatever anyone's spiritual walk and belief is ... it is their own. I am a Christian, but one who looks into everything (Buddhism, etc.) to find the core truths and corresponding parallels. One form of belief does not nullify the basic matching teachings in another (don't throw the baby out with the bath water process of thinking). Daily Bible Study & Mental Self Examination & Growth might sound unrelated to balance and being physically fit, etc, but think about it this way....I start my days thinking about something outside of myself, outside of my problems and my little world. It puts my entire day and existence in perspective and provides me with the Grace and Direction I need to not stray too far from my journey (which as you can probably discern is more than just fitness). Check out my other Blogs: http://www.veryeffective.blogspot.com/ & http://veryeffectivescripture.blogspot.com/ for a more balanced approach to complete and healthy living (physically and spiritually).
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Hearing
If you've been practicing "listening" to others as opposed to running your own dialogue while they are speaking to you, then you are learning a lot about others. When we hear another, both what they are saying and what they are not saying, we learn who that person really is....what they are about and with what they are struggling. If the other is accusing and judging, a lot is learned about their insecurities and lack of growth. Most of the time what someone projects is 99% about them and not the issue or person for which they are vomiting on. Listen to learn....Hear to understand!
Monday, August 3, 2015
Love, Respect, Honor & Trust
The cornerstones to a healthy relationship are Love, Respect, Honor, and Trust. Without all of these as the foundation, a relationship will not last. To love someone is awesome and also hurtful without the other three components in place. One cannot demand respect as it has to be earned through trust. There will be no honor without respect. Without trust, love will diminish. Each component builds on another and without one all is lost.
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