Life is full of choices, and not always the ones we want to make. I find myself having to choose between numbers of pursuits and teaching four grades to four kiddos. Part of the struggle is finding time, energy, and ability to do blogs, research, continuing education in addition to workouts or any self-care in union with teaching, rearing, and caring for four kids. For now, I'm choosing to do my core job of kids; therefore, having to forgo blogs and/or any online pursuits/offerings (outside of my Scripture blog). Trying to keep up this blog offering, planning for online studio, etc., just isn't feasible at this time, so I reluctantly say goodbye for now. Take care!
Monday, August 29, 2016
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Days 65-74 Trials and Errors
Anything and everything in life seems to be trials and errors....I find a small bit of peace in all the chaos and lose it just as easily as if a strong wind came through the house. The problem seems to be the sheer amount of the load on my shoulders. So routinely, I go through the lists and assigned stuffs and try and figure out what can be tossed or reworked or (fingers crossed) reassigned to someone else. I'm definitely at a familiar cross roads fighting with all I have not to be codependent in any of it. I feel I'm dangerously close to losing that battle some days. It's simple and yet so very, very hard (feeling impossible) to do what's mine to do and not resent what shouldn't be mine to do (but is anyway). Trying my best to figure out a better way, to find balance in perspective and action, and to not give up on everything!
That's the rant and whine of what goes on with me at times (now in fact), and why when folks outside the "glass house" throw all the "it is just easy for me" (why the hell would this be easy for anyone & wth is wrong with 'them' to suggest that they are such hot house lilies that they can't do or shouldn't have to do?) We all have a mountain of everything (why?). When I study back to the life (real deal life, not the fantasy version of history life) of just the last century pre 1950s (and worse if you look at what they had to do in days/weeks/years of centuries/time periods before the Industrial Revolution). How are we not consumed by freedoms (given the enormity of modern conveniences that have taken so much work out of our days) instead of the other way around? How do we have so much on our plates? This mere fact seems like such utter nonsense that I feel the need to break stuff (as I have absolutely no tolerance for stupidity and inefficiency). I am a hard worker, don't mind hard work, have always been a 'can do' kinda gal, but this is nucking futs!
What is wrong with our times that we are working harder than necessary to move absolutely nowhere worth going? I'm glad I asked ;-) It's the societal norms that do not matter that have taken over our freedoms! Just imagine if you were without your instant techno feed (smart phones that are making us stupid, tv shows that have become part of our daily to-do lists for crying out loud, keeping up with the neighbors who are equally as miserable, or fighting against the peer pressure of the nonsense which is equally exhausting, dragging our kids along in all of this mess to keep up and do things that do not matter, or fighting against all of that and then all the work involved in teaching them to swim upstream against the nonsense, etc.). Enough!
Picking up after all the downstreamers while I am trudging upstream and trying to teach my kids how not to succumb to peer pressure of worldly possession grabbing and posturing about with unquenched thirst of ego is draining! Worth it, but grueling! My best advice to all the unicorns out there who are trying to live 'right' in a 'wrong' world, stay the course....it's the straight and narrow, and definitely not the well worn path by many, but it will be okay and you will be better for having persevered! As for how to find balance in it.....well, some days are easier than others, but just take a necessary deep breath on the days you want to chuck it!!!
That's the rant and whine of what goes on with me at times (now in fact), and why when folks outside the "glass house" throw all the "it is just easy for me" (why the hell would this be easy for anyone & wth is wrong with 'them' to suggest that they are such hot house lilies that they can't do or shouldn't have to do?) We all have a mountain of everything (why?). When I study back to the life (real deal life, not the fantasy version of history life) of just the last century pre 1950s (and worse if you look at what they had to do in days/weeks/years of centuries/time periods before the Industrial Revolution). How are we not consumed by freedoms (given the enormity of modern conveniences that have taken so much work out of our days) instead of the other way around? How do we have so much on our plates? This mere fact seems like such utter nonsense that I feel the need to break stuff (as I have absolutely no tolerance for stupidity and inefficiency). I am a hard worker, don't mind hard work, have always been a 'can do' kinda gal, but this is nucking futs!
What is wrong with our times that we are working harder than necessary to move absolutely nowhere worth going? I'm glad I asked ;-) It's the societal norms that do not matter that have taken over our freedoms! Just imagine if you were without your instant techno feed (smart phones that are making us stupid, tv shows that have become part of our daily to-do lists for crying out loud, keeping up with the neighbors who are equally as miserable, or fighting against the peer pressure of the nonsense which is equally exhausting, dragging our kids along in all of this mess to keep up and do things that do not matter, or fighting against all of that and then all the work involved in teaching them to swim upstream against the nonsense, etc.). Enough!
Picking up after all the downstreamers while I am trudging upstream and trying to teach my kids how not to succumb to peer pressure of worldly possession grabbing and posturing about with unquenched thirst of ego is draining! Worth it, but grueling! My best advice to all the unicorns out there who are trying to live 'right' in a 'wrong' world, stay the course....it's the straight and narrow, and definitely not the well worn path by many, but it will be okay and you will be better for having persevered! As for how to find balance in it.....well, some days are easier than others, but just take a necessary deep breath on the days you want to chuck it!!!
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Days 58-64 Self Care
Self-care means different things to different people and depending on whether you are referring to physical, mental, or spiritual. Growing up in a dysfunctional home of many levels of dysfunction, all self-care was thought selfish and unacceptable....So, even something as simple and elementary as applying lotion to my body on a daily basis seems still trite and luxurious all at the same time. Intellectually, I know this to be silly. In practice, it takes a lot of effort. Similarly, taking time to work out is an ongoing struggle for most and one I've mostly overcome (by seeing it as helping my kiddos witness and practice taking care of oneself so they will habitually be healthy). Self-care on a mental level is being able to tend to one's own thoughts/needs and actually believing those are as important as anyone else's entitlement to such. It's difficult when one is overly engaged to be able to be quiet enough to get back to the basics of self-care. It's easier to be numb and just do and be socially involved....but that is neither functional, healthy, or long-term viable/sustainable. Always take the time to evaluate, reevaluate that you are moving forward not just being carried along in the daily push/pulls of existence!
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Days 46-57 Inward
Being in a self-reflective place is good...pulling inward and disallowing for a time all the outside noise (outer circle of acquaintances, friends, social media, etc.). Giving yourself the space and time to view, analyze, assess your life and circumstances and ongoing influences for what they are in relative quiet from everyone else's persuading pushes and pulls (positive and negative) is necessary to find center and determine what is going right and what is going wrong and in need of correction. We are entirely too "plugged in" to all these pushes and pulls through agenda driven television and movies, social media, social groups (in person engagement.....actually those still exist in today's virtual realm of influence and interaction), news feeds, and the like. Unplug for a beat and sit in the quiet of your mind/thoughts/reflections. Life will still move all around you like a hummingbird at a feeder, but it can survive without you for a breath. Growth cannot exist without such quiet! Calm and balance cannot be had without such meditation....It is an illusion that our presence in this chatter is a helpful or good thing to those in the chatter or to us (it's all just noise distracting you from actual life)!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)