Promises are important to trust and to keep. However, do you know what constitutes a "promise"? Without exception, most relationship promises are "if" "then" promises. There is a part each person in the relationship adheres in order for the promise to be valid and kept. It's easy to fall into the victim mentality of the other person not upholding their promise(s) without considering the if..then fail on your part which negated the promise. Paying attention to the parts we all play in a functional, boundaryful relationship are important to keep the balance, the love, and the promises. Don't expect to be a doormat or for the other person to either. Know that some if/thens are implied, but not specified verbally. Keep and maintain your promises through communication and holding up your end of the relationship.
Let's say two people enter into a boundary and promise of: "I will provide you with xyz, if you do abc." BUT the second person in the agreement failed to adhere to the abc's of the relationship....eventually, the first person extinguishes provision of the xyz end of the deal. It's not a condition of love that's happening, but a condition of boundaries.
Let's say two people enter into a boundary and promise of: "I will provide you with xyz, if you do abc." BUT the second person in the agreement failed to adhere to the abc's of the relationship....eventually, the first person extinguishes provision of the xyz end of the deal. It's not a condition of love that's happening, but a condition of boundaries.
That is so right. All my life society tells me that promises are supposed to be a blind obligation to your word regardless all else. Is there any promise or vow that doesn't contain conditions? I don't think so... can't think of one. And there is a great deal of comfort in that.
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