Dissecting The Princess' Antagonist

She's referred to as the wicked witch, evil stepmother, queen, etc., but who is this horrible person really in all these princess movies? She is the bitter soul who wants the spirit of the 'princess' she abuses. If you read Dissecting The "Princess" Dream post, then take all of the misnomers and apply it to the antagonists of these movies (and our culture in general). The reality is the evil person here is the one who wants to be a slug and praised and worshiped without having to do anything but exist in ease and glory. She is insecure because she is a 'poor me' 'wanna be' without the desire to do. She wants what others have and the ego of feeling she deserves all the good without having to endure any of the bad. Mirror, mirror on the wall tell me how wonderful I am so I can feed my massive ego and soothe my massive insecurities because I know I'm less than a whole person and would rather stroke my pitiful 'can't do' spirit than actually do anything to fix myself....give me permission to just be pitiful and take what I need to feel better from someone else because I deserve it more.....Yep, that about sums it up! These 'won't do' individuals are not mean as their actions would relay. They are instead selfish, insecure, pissants who want without effort. This has no gender and infects a multitude of individuals. 

Dissecting The "Princess" Dream

Little girls and their princess movies.....the misnomer that pretty princesses get rescued by their prince charming is not the message...oye! First, the princesses in the movies that you root for (and the majority of the movies at that) are the ones that rescue themselves. They work and don't have a poor me attitude...they just do what's before them (usually in song). Sure, the critters help with chores and dress making, and there is a prince that shows up at the end, but the attitude of these princesses isn't the one of a slacking, lazy, worthless dame who sits around sighing while she awaits her rescue so she can then just sit on a pedestal and be worshiped. For crying out loud, she works before and after said prince. For that matter, the prince wouldn't even be interested in the princess if not for her abilities, talents, can do, feisty attitude. Where in the world did it become a dream that 'happily ever after' is not having to do anything and having it done for you because ... what you're worth being a slug? Why would any little girl (however young or old) want to be poured over while she is consistently less than a whole person? Complete yourself and be happy for it....only then will your prince (worth having) come!

Stuck In A Rut?

Stuck in a rut and can't get out? If you are practicing the definition of insanity over and over again (doing the same action repeatedly expecting a different result), then step back and look at what action might actually produce a different result.......

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 18, 2015

Examine, Live, & Enjoy

Going through a really rough struggle?  Life can be really hard at times....to the point we just want to chuck it in the f### it bucket and walk away.  Consider this instead of giving up all hope:  You, like a garden, needs to be tilled and overturned.  We are stubborn creatures of habit and circumstances both beyond and very much in our control.  It's easy to get swept up in the everyday and forget to tend to ourselves (mind, body, and soul).  If you have been on auto pilot for awhile or even for always, you become numb to your feelings and numb to your direction in life...the stuff that really matters beyond all the daily tasks of merely "living".  Let's just be clear here, a life worth living isn't one of numbly doing the daily have tos, but rather very much one of conscience examination.  Socrates said it best, "the unexamined life is not worth living."  Examination creates it's own sort of disturbances and pain, but through this process we can become our true selves and experience life fully and with full joy.  So, in considering you as a garden, this process of overturning the hard, bad soil allows for the addition of all the rich nutrient soil that allows for lush, beautiful and productive plants and flowers.  Your garden will be overflowing with life and color because you first took the time to do the hard tilling of examination and feeling, which in the end is far better than a forgotten garden full of weeds and poor soil!

Control? What Control?

No control but over you is the answer to what you have control over. You cannot control anything except your thoughts and actions....EVER. It's a heartbreaking illusion to ever feel in control of another person or circumstance outside of yourself....EVER. Work on you...your thoughts, feelings, understandings, perspective, actions and let the rest go!

What Teaches Children Trust v Distrust?

I saw a post on Facebook from someone blaming their mistrust in relationships on their parents' divorce when they were children. Interesting thought that gets batted about and used to excuse ones' issues. Here's the thing about blaming others for your lack of growth....it's not on them. Sure, parents screw up and are to blame for their actions (and their actions only). What we then do with our experiences from childhood (or from anything tragic or wonderful) is on us. We can either decide to grow beyond the bad and/or not let too much of the good corrupt us....or, we can go down bad paths and then later just excuse poor choices to that experience. One guess as to which to choose.....and which mostly gets chosen.

Divorce does not teach children not to trust. Parents married or divorced teach that if they act dysfunctionally and untrustworthy. Exiting a relationship that has been a trail of broken promises, lies, and broken if/then agreements; rather, teaches children that words matter, actions matter, and promises not kept have consequences (but only if the healthy parent(s) teach that lesson). Back to the initial point....whatever our parents taught us, the onus of our adult decisions is on whether we choose to blanket our lives in the excuses of the past or grow/move beyond them!

Is Time For You Selfish?

Taking time to mediate, work out, stretch, rest, etc., feels selfish at times, but it's one of those investments of time that is so key to a balanced healthy life. Now, that's balanced use of such "me" time of course....For example two hours at the gym several times a week is not only a fitness waste of time with diminished returns, but kinda of a selfish use of time to boot (who am I to say so....a certified metabolic personal trainer, that's who... http://veryeffective.blogspot.com/ & veryeffectivefitness.com for a better way to fitness)...BUT, staying with the workout example: Working out for fitness and health is an investment in yourself and your family. How? It prevents future health care costs (and pharmaceutical costs), loss of physical and/or mental capacity from illnesses, etc. Keeping ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually healthy is never a poor investment of time...or a selfish one!

Invest & Waste Your Time Wisely

What's the numero uno excuse for why folks "can't" (fill in the blank)? Answer: 'no time'. Yep, it's the time factor (fall guy)...king of all excuses. We choose to absently waste time in abundance without consideration of our responsibilities, health, etc., and then it's gone, and we don't know how to "fit" in all the have to's, want to's, etc. Here's the thing: Just like with eating healthy MINDFULLY, using our time MINDFULLY is key. This means paying attention and tracking (for a time) where our time legitimately goes. Consider this: When shifting to a healthy eating plan, you initially have to track your food to account for all the nibbles, tastes, bites you are consuming. Regard your intake of social media, electronic games, texting, etc., as those mental nibbles, tastes, bites that mindlessly waste your time (Candy Crush much?). It's totally fine to build all that into your day, just be honest about where you are spending your time. Poorly wasting your time is as bad to your mental, physical, spiritual, and relationship daily life as is poorly eating throughout your day is to your fitness goals. Make better choices by making a legit plan and tracking it until it's habit. Invest your time wisely by allowing your outlets of time wasters as your legit "down time", and fill in all the new free time with investments to your well being!