Your children not only hear everything you say (whether they act like they do or not), but they watch everything you do. Every little or big behavior you do, they see and absorb. Especially at young ages when you think it doesn't matter, it does, and they are already soaking in all of the ways you behave as the ways they will behave and who they will become. We can talk and preach and scold all we want, but until we change our very behaviors that we do not want them to mimic, they will keep on absorbing them.
Some examples:
If one parent routinely disregards and doesn't listen to the other parent, this sets the children up to disregard and not honor either parent. They are being taught through action what is acceptable and okay regardless of what is told to them to do. Do not misunderstand me, I'm not suggesting that any of this is "acceptable (ok) behavior". Acceptable behavior in relationships is what is allowed. If bad behavior is allowed, for whatever reason, then it becomes accepted by all in the relationship dynamic.
If a parent routinely reacts poorly to failure, even if it's just the toast burning, and the child sees either the self infliction of how inept they feel about themselves, or the anger and handling the feelings of anger badly, then the child will adapt this as their coping mechanism as well. Their self talk becomes what we teach them our self talk is...and their lack of anger management becomes what we show them ours is.
If a parent talks bad about themselves, feels bad themselves, then the child will also adapt these behaviors. And the lists go on and on.....
We need to honor ourselves for us, but also for our children! They desperately need to develop with a good sense of ownership of their thoughts, emotions, boundaries and how to express those healthily!! Love and care for you, so your children will love and care for themselves!!!
Some examples:
If one parent routinely disregards and doesn't listen to the other parent, this sets the children up to disregard and not honor either parent. They are being taught through action what is acceptable and okay regardless of what is told to them to do. Do not misunderstand me, I'm not suggesting that any of this is "acceptable (ok) behavior". Acceptable behavior in relationships is what is allowed. If bad behavior is allowed, for whatever reason, then it becomes accepted by all in the relationship dynamic.
If a parent routinely reacts poorly to failure, even if it's just the toast burning, and the child sees either the self infliction of how inept they feel about themselves, or the anger and handling the feelings of anger badly, then the child will adapt this as their coping mechanism as well. Their self talk becomes what we teach them our self talk is...and their lack of anger management becomes what we show them ours is.
If a parent talks bad about themselves, feels bad themselves, then the child will also adapt these behaviors. And the lists go on and on.....
We need to honor ourselves for us, but also for our children! They desperately need to develop with a good sense of ownership of their thoughts, emotions, boundaries and how to express those healthily!! Love and care for you, so your children will love and care for themselves!!!
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