Let's say you find yourself in a good mood, productive happy place, and then are around someone(s) that alter that mood immediately. Ask yourself, is it an unresolved something or that person? There are more than one such someones in my life, and it's uncomfortable and unpleasant for such a negative cloud to immediately fall over me. It's difficult to have a conversation or even be any part of "me" but the most negative in those encounters. If you just aren't feeling yourself or feeling good about the other person, rid yourself of the situation if at all possible. Life is too short for such sacrifices of self! There of course are the situations and people we are seemingly stuck with for whatever reason (work, etc.). In the instances that are unavoidable in the present, do the best you can to be the best you regardless. Remaining true to yourself under such draining circumstances can truly be a test of your mad growth skills, but do your best because in this type of encounter it really is them and not you....
I hadn't considered that angle in depth before. Why can I encounter one negative person, and it not affect me. Then encounter another such person and it completely drain me? Thinking that through, there's generally an unresolved something with person B. It might be a new boundary that I need to establish, but am fearing the conflict. Or, like you say, it might be a situation like work where it's not possible to assert those boundaries. I guess in those cases I'd have to have a hard look at why the negativity affects me. Is it because I'm feeling taken for granted? If so, why am I seeking my sense of self-worth from my job? If I have something else, a hobby, etc; from which I can feel accomplished, shouldn't the job become simply a revenue stream instead of an identity?
ReplyDeleteOr, is the work interaction truly an abusive situation? If so, steps should be taken to resolve that. Maybe some office politics have to be endured; or Human Resources involved. Or maybe it is time to get that revenue stream elsewhere.
So, is that soul-sucking feeling from a negative individual a warning sign that I'm allowing myself to operate in a victim place?