So a comment from the Not Feeling It Post:
"I hadn't considered that angle in depth before. Why can I encounter one negative person, and it not affect me. Then encounter another such person and it completely drain me? Thinking that through, there's generally an unresolved something with person B. It might be a new boundary that I need to establish, but am fearing the conflict. Or, like you say, it might be a situation like work where it's not possible to assert those boundaries. I guess in those cases I'd have to have a hard look at why the negativity affects me. Is it because I'm feeling taken for granted? If so, why am I seeking my sense of self-worth from my job? If I have something else, a hobby, etc; from which I can feel accomplished, shouldn't the job become simply a revenue stream instead of an identity?
Or, is the work interaction truly an abusive situation? If so, steps should be taken to resolve that. Maybe some office politics have to be endured; or Human Resources involved. Or maybe it is time to get that revenue stream elsewhere.
So, is that soul-sucking feeling from a negative individual a warning sign that I'm allowing myself to operate in a victim place?"
"I hadn't considered that angle in depth before. Why can I encounter one negative person, and it not affect me. Then encounter another such person and it completely drain me? Thinking that through, there's generally an unresolved something with person B. It might be a new boundary that I need to establish, but am fearing the conflict. Or, like you say, it might be a situation like work where it's not possible to assert those boundaries. I guess in those cases I'd have to have a hard look at why the negativity affects me. Is it because I'm feeling taken for granted? If so, why am I seeking my sense of self-worth from my job? If I have something else, a hobby, etc; from which I can feel accomplished, shouldn't the job become simply a revenue stream instead of an identity?
Or, is the work interaction truly an abusive situation? If so, steps should be taken to resolve that. Maybe some office politics have to be endured; or Human Resources involved. Or maybe it is time to get that revenue stream elsewhere.
So, is that soul-sucking feeling from a negative individual a warning sign that I'm allowing myself to operate in a victim place?"
Yes and Yes. I find that if I'm feeling "less than" or negative in most situations it is because I'm not using my voice, don't feel I have a voice, or my boundaries are being grossly violated. If you find yourself not "you"...ask yourself the whys. No situation or relationship should diminish your voice or your boundaries....ever. If it does, it needs to be greatly examined.
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