Teaching young children how to honor their feelings while at the same time being appropriate in their actions and relaying of their emotions is a fun little task. By carefully dissecting this for a child, one becomes innately aware of just how slack we become in these behaviors ourselves.
It is common for us to react to someone else's behavior by "giving them the same in return" or erecting emotional walls they cannot hope to penetrate in the future or by over or under reacting. The right way to 'deal' with a "monkey" is to not then act like the monkey, but to be true to ourselves. Honor your feelings in an appropriate manner. If it is appropriate based upon the relationship to voice your feelings, then do so in a respectful way. Just because someone is being disrespectful to you, does not give you license to go against your character and be disrespectful in return. Whether it is a situation you can express your feelings and boundaries aloud or not, you can always behave in accordance with your feelings and boundaries. We all have our "monkey" moments due to stress, conflict, whatever, but behaving like a monkey is never okay. Own your stuff and behave like the upright human you know you are ;-)
It is common for us to react to someone else's behavior by "giving them the same in return" or erecting emotional walls they cannot hope to penetrate in the future or by over or under reacting. The right way to 'deal' with a "monkey" is to not then act like the monkey, but to be true to ourselves. Honor your feelings in an appropriate manner. If it is appropriate based upon the relationship to voice your feelings, then do so in a respectful way. Just because someone is being disrespectful to you, does not give you license to go against your character and be disrespectful in return. Whether it is a situation you can express your feelings and boundaries aloud or not, you can always behave in accordance with your feelings and boundaries. We all have our "monkey" moments due to stress, conflict, whatever, but behaving like a monkey is never okay. Own your stuff and behave like the upright human you know you are ;-)
Lol, yes, wow the moments when I'm trying to explain to my kids why their behavior isn't appropriate and I realize the lesson applies to me too. Ouch!
ReplyDeleteMaybe that's why it's important to regulate who we allow ourselves to keep close contact with? Mannerism, accents, behavior all seem to spread by osmosis. Always better to know who you are, and honor those ideals by sticking close to them and taking them out often to make sure they still serve to better you.