Days 18-20 Grief

Grief is a very individual process. We all grieve differently and for different lengths of time. However and for whatever you grieve, you need to fully grieve. All too often, we feel pressured to rush through the process because the folks around us "expect" us to get over (fill in the blank) fast so we can just be whatever to them that they need us to be. WTF and back the truck up! Dysfunction, dysfunction, dysfunction!!! When I unexpectedly lost my dad in 2002, I was expected to be over it to "please" (fill in the blank). I can tell you from numerous experiences with grief that the more you try to push the feelings aside, hurry up to be "normal", etc., the worse and the longer the grieving process takes. And, we don't just grieve for the loss of a loved one. We grieve the loss of relationships, jobs, health, self, motivation to give a hot damn, etc. We grieve when no one (and sometimes including us) know that we are grieving. Bottom-line: Allow yourself and those around you their process. Take a deep breath and feel your feelings, work through them, and grow out of them. Yes, you still have to function, just not at the super human rate you usually do. Take the time necessary to heal because only then can you truly let go of the past to be present in your future!