Challenges grow us, but only if we allow them. Fighting a crisis (i.e., challenge) is futile, yet that is what most do either through avoidance, victim whining, hostility, or denial. Know before facing down any challenge that it's okay to fail. To not fail is to not grow, learn, overcome. Failure is only a horrible event if you don't learn from it. Learn why it didn't work and then figure out a better way. There is always a better way...and sometimes that way is a different path altogether. Go beyond just problem identification to problem solving.
Fair is a pitfall to avoid when looking at any challenge. There is no such thing as fair. Life itself isn't fair for anyone. Fair is a self-centered perspective and a pointless argument. Fair to whom? Only from one's own vantage point is "fair" ever assessed and in that it's only fair to them. Let go of the fair factor and just address the situation at hand.
Avoiding victim "poor me" states is necessary to overcoming anything! We have to own our participation in a situation; understand what is in our control and what is not; problem solve for what is in our control beginning with our attitude, perspective, and boundaries. Being in an emotional reactive state of everything being done to us lends itself to victim identity. Emotional or reactive behavior is just identifying that there is a problem, inconvenience, discomfort. To stay in the place of tantrum and protest never solves anything, grows us, or negates the negativity surrounding us. Rather, identification should move toward understanding and motivation to solve/resolve. Regardless of any outside forces at play, we always have a choice of how we act/think. We always have control over ourselves and our boundaries.
Contending with and overcoming a challenging situation (crisis/problem) is the difference between "it's hard, but I can do it" versus "I can't and I won't" (unable versus uncomfortable). The realization and understanding that solutions aren't always to our advantage, but can always be an opportunity of growth/experience is how you can successfully navigate through any challenge while firmly staying clear of victim, no fair wallowing. Learn the whys and you can problem solve anything! Challenge accepted!!!
Fair is a pitfall to avoid when looking at any challenge. There is no such thing as fair. Life itself isn't fair for anyone. Fair is a self-centered perspective and a pointless argument. Fair to whom? Only from one's own vantage point is "fair" ever assessed and in that it's only fair to them. Let go of the fair factor and just address the situation at hand.
Avoiding victim "poor me" states is necessary to overcoming anything! We have to own our participation in a situation; understand what is in our control and what is not; problem solve for what is in our control beginning with our attitude, perspective, and boundaries. Being in an emotional reactive state of everything being done to us lends itself to victim identity. Emotional or reactive behavior is just identifying that there is a problem, inconvenience, discomfort. To stay in the place of tantrum and protest never solves anything, grows us, or negates the negativity surrounding us. Rather, identification should move toward understanding and motivation to solve/resolve. Regardless of any outside forces at play, we always have a choice of how we act/think. We always have control over ourselves and our boundaries.
Contending with and overcoming a challenging situation (crisis/problem) is the difference between "it's hard, but I can do it" versus "I can't and I won't" (unable versus uncomfortable). The realization and understanding that solutions aren't always to our advantage, but can always be an opportunity of growth/experience is how you can successfully navigate through any challenge while firmly staying clear of victim, no fair wallowing. Learn the whys and you can problem solve anything! Challenge accepted!!!
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