Accepting oneself means you have to know yourself. Admit who you are completely unmasked. No excuses, fully owning who you are (your identity...what makes you tic toc for you...not others, not environment, not survival, not preferences, but your drive, your essence), why you do, react, participate, allow behaviors and circumstances, own your mistakes, own your flaws, fully OWN YOUR BEING!
Here's what I see fundamentally driving people's insecurities and impulse to mask who they are to the world (and to themselves), they don't dig to find their identity beyond what dysfunctional, toxic external forces have environmentally molded their behaviors into thinking that is their identity. The younger the "masking" starts the more difficult to move towards acceptance. We all want to be heard, understood, regarded, but in the absence of all of this (as is what happens in toxic relationships/environments), if we know who we are, if we accept who we are, then we can survive, thrive, and grow beyond where we are.
So what the hell am I babbling on about? Simple, girls are brought up on the sliding scale of the majority to "fit in" by wearing certain clothes, having certain figures, "acting" (and masking is all about fake, acting, pretending) a certain way, engaging boys and girls with this bs bravado that all the sitcoms and movies portray as glamorous (etc,. gag, etc.) by illustrating the funny in the dysfunctional and posh materialistic reward to the most masked. So, we pierce, paint, dress, put our "public costume" on, deprive our sense of self, beat up on ourselves for lacking "the standard", and reject ourselves. Tada a perfectly repulsive, empty, shell of misery. This doesn't just apply to females, but males alike. Let's instead teach what makes a person beautiful. The mind and spirit of each unique one of us is beautiful, but only if we stop tainting it with the fake. Teach the young to grow their minds, their souls, their bodies with proper nutrition and fitness and hygiene, to self-accept and be who they are. It's in one's strength, character, uniqueness that makes them appealing, beautiful, stable. It is not the latest whatevers, make up slathered to unrecognizable, hair done beyond cosplay necessary. If you're hollow, then no amount of masks will ever get you or anyone else to accept you beyond the fake that you become.
Am I suggesting we be plain as dirt? No! I'm saying do whatever makes you you for realz. Makeup, bedazzle, color and dye away for an event, work, or because you want to play dress up, but stop short of having to do it to be acceptable to you or anyone outside of you. Express yourself without rejecting yourself! Stop trying to fake yourself to be anything other than you. Be you...Accept you...and until you can accept the bare naked reality of who you are, then maybe it's time to rehab the masks!
Masks aren't just the costumed appearance we shell ourselves in to be accepted (if you haven't gotten that I'm saying this isn't healthy or necessary, then reread above), but also all the other materialistic possessions we go into debt to verbally showcase about to feel like we fit in without anyone actually getting to know you. It's a slide of hand trick between equally masked people. For what? If you are accepted into such a group, they are accepting your costume, not you because they don't know you (and maybe you don't know you either).
Yes, I'm on a tangent. Many reasons why...here are a few: Seeing little adolescent girls flitting about like Hollywood glam street walkers because that's what they think is "girlie" pretty. Beautiful spirits whom I've met over the years who want to change their weight because they don't feel acceptable. Trying to convince them of the person I see when I talk with them is who they are and they are beautiful as they are. Wanting to change an appearance for the right reasons (health, just because you like it, makes your heart sing, etc.) is fine (great), but doing it for the wrong reasons of self-loathing is never okay. Little girls rejecting their identities because they think it is not the world view of feminine, so they deny who they are and fake who they aren't. Children growing up unhealthy with little to no understanding of how to take care of their health or hygiene and think (by the examples around them) that just a little makeup, designer clothes, hairstyles is going to fix their pain or make them accepted.
Let kids be kids, figure out who they are so they can accept who they are. Teach them good health and hygiene through example of self-care instead of self-loathing. Let them accept themselves with no masks before letting them play permanent dress up. Sit down with yourself and have an honest sob fest about who you are and what you've spent your life running from so you can accept yourself and feel good about who you are unmasked. The only ugly I've ever encountered in my life wasn't someone over weight or in less than the materialistic whatever, but the ugly is the hollow, mean, manipulative abusers. Beauty is from within and no amount of hardships or less thans can take away your beauty! Express who you are, however you want....Just express the real you! You don't have to do anything but be you to be loved by the right people for you!!!
Here's what I see fundamentally driving people's insecurities and impulse to mask who they are to the world (and to themselves), they don't dig to find their identity beyond what dysfunctional, toxic external forces have environmentally molded their behaviors into thinking that is their identity. The younger the "masking" starts the more difficult to move towards acceptance. We all want to be heard, understood, regarded, but in the absence of all of this (as is what happens in toxic relationships/environments), if we know who we are, if we accept who we are, then we can survive, thrive, and grow beyond where we are.
So what the hell am I babbling on about? Simple, girls are brought up on the sliding scale of the majority to "fit in" by wearing certain clothes, having certain figures, "acting" (and masking is all about fake, acting, pretending) a certain way, engaging boys and girls with this bs bravado that all the sitcoms and movies portray as glamorous (etc,. gag, etc.) by illustrating the funny in the dysfunctional and posh materialistic reward to the most masked. So, we pierce, paint, dress, put our "public costume" on, deprive our sense of self, beat up on ourselves for lacking "the standard", and reject ourselves. Tada a perfectly repulsive, empty, shell of misery. This doesn't just apply to females, but males alike. Let's instead teach what makes a person beautiful. The mind and spirit of each unique one of us is beautiful, but only if we stop tainting it with the fake. Teach the young to grow their minds, their souls, their bodies with proper nutrition and fitness and hygiene, to self-accept and be who they are. It's in one's strength, character, uniqueness that makes them appealing, beautiful, stable. It is not the latest whatevers, make up slathered to unrecognizable, hair done beyond cosplay necessary. If you're hollow, then no amount of masks will ever get you or anyone else to accept you beyond the fake that you become.
Am I suggesting we be plain as dirt? No! I'm saying do whatever makes you you for realz. Makeup, bedazzle, color and dye away for an event, work, or because you want to play dress up, but stop short of having to do it to be acceptable to you or anyone outside of you. Express yourself without rejecting yourself! Stop trying to fake yourself to be anything other than you. Be you...Accept you...and until you can accept the bare naked reality of who you are, then maybe it's time to rehab the masks!
Masks aren't just the costumed appearance we shell ourselves in to be accepted (if you haven't gotten that I'm saying this isn't healthy or necessary, then reread above), but also all the other materialistic possessions we go into debt to verbally showcase about to feel like we fit in without anyone actually getting to know you. It's a slide of hand trick between equally masked people. For what? If you are accepted into such a group, they are accepting your costume, not you because they don't know you (and maybe you don't know you either).
Yes, I'm on a tangent. Many reasons why...here are a few: Seeing little adolescent girls flitting about like Hollywood glam street walkers because that's what they think is "girlie" pretty. Beautiful spirits whom I've met over the years who want to change their weight because they don't feel acceptable. Trying to convince them of the person I see when I talk with them is who they are and they are beautiful as they are. Wanting to change an appearance for the right reasons (health, just because you like it, makes your heart sing, etc.) is fine (great), but doing it for the wrong reasons of self-loathing is never okay. Little girls rejecting their identities because they think it is not the world view of feminine, so they deny who they are and fake who they aren't. Children growing up unhealthy with little to no understanding of how to take care of their health or hygiene and think (by the examples around them) that just a little makeup, designer clothes, hairstyles is going to fix their pain or make them accepted.
Let kids be kids, figure out who they are so they can accept who they are. Teach them good health and hygiene through example of self-care instead of self-loathing. Let them accept themselves with no masks before letting them play permanent dress up. Sit down with yourself and have an honest sob fest about who you are and what you've spent your life running from so you can accept yourself and feel good about who you are unmasked. The only ugly I've ever encountered in my life wasn't someone over weight or in less than the materialistic whatever, but the ugly is the hollow, mean, manipulative abusers. Beauty is from within and no amount of hardships or less thans can take away your beauty! Express who you are, however you want....Just express the real you! You don't have to do anything but be you to be loved by the right people for you!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment