Friend or Foe?

All the people you know are not your friends. How do you know who your true friends are? Well, it's as simple as one, two, three, four. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you have to think through what you are going to say to a person before speaking to them? We're not talking about a "special" conversation where you are debating tact. We are talking about every conversation has to be weighed and measured and filtered before you can talk with them. Weighing how they are going to receive what you say, and then how they are going to overreact to whatever it is. Basically, altering you being able to be you fully and functionally and instead having to treat them like a delicate flower who could wilt without special care of their ego. Just say no to these hot house lilies...unless of course you enjoy being a masochistic codependent.
2. Is this person only available to you when they have needs that need to be met? If you find yourself only getting called when your services are demanded, then this is not a friendship. It is a contractor relationship. If you're not getting paid & 1099'd for your services, then opt out of this one sided pro bono. Charitable assistance is great, but being a permanent dial-o-codependent is not the same thing.
3. Are you constantly having to explain yourself to a self-appointed "judge"? Meddlers are everywhere, but they don't have to be in your friend circle. You're not throwing stones at their glass house nor should you accept the stones of unasked for advice and judgement from another. Just hand them your shoes and send them on their walk away from you. 
4. Are the majority of your conversations about other people's life/drama? The "gossip" isn't a friend. They are simply going from peep to peep gathering more "news" to report. If they are gossiping to you, they are most definitely gossiping about you, and it's not the good kind of PR they are spreading! Participating in this doesn't make you a good friend either, so rehab yourself away from this tittle-tattle.

Friendship is a two way street. A true friend values your uniqueness, accepts your choices, honors your boundaries, protects your identity by not violating it, is respectful of your time, and offers as much as they take from you. Choose friends carefully and then cherish them functionally.