False Representation

If your children are under the impression that life just magically works out well and easily, then whoa to them when they are out on their own. This is exactly what we are setting them up for if we are not honest with them in our actions and words. Example: You hide sad, hurt, anger problems/situations from them and they only see you struggle with an unknown ('cause trust me they always know what's going on, just not always clued in on the details; so, without our input, they make up their own horrible stories in their heads) and then just see that everything is fine. They are filling in the blanks on their own, but what the result of this process is...is that they see us struggle, or pick up on the emotion of the struggle, but then see that poof it's just all worked out. We, then, are not teaching them the cause and effects, the problem solving that happens in order to get them to learn the process of solution/resolution. The flip side is, if you are really old school parenting and completely hiding any struggle, then that's even worse cause then they are set up to think that life was just always easy for you. When they are out on their own they then can't figure out what is wrong with them that their life isn't as easy for them as it was for you. Or, that why are they incapable of having easy solutions to problems they incur because that's how it was for their parents. No matter what the depth of scenario, we are creating a false sense of how life works if we are not using our life with them while they are young teaching them how life really works. We are not protecting them by "shielding" them, we are instead setting them up for failure and unnecessary hardships.